


A Question of Ownership

by Riley2002



Series: The Middle of the Beginning and Beyond [11]
Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:39:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7821736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riley2002/pseuds/Riley2002
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helena returns from a side job with an unhealed injury. What are the options? And, what are the results that follow.</p><p>Original publish date: 2013/05/26</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

"Mmmm." She wiggled back into the unexpected warmth of the body behind her, an arm draped over her mid-section. She'd spent three cold weeks in the bed alone. Looking at the clock she groaned, dismayed at having to leave the long absent body enclosing her. Carefully, she unwrapped herself and slipped out of bed to get ready for the day. Hesitantly, she reached down to brush the long, dark locks away from the face she'd missed and tenderly kissed the lips parted in sleep. The small form sighed and stretched in its sleep. Myka smiled at the childlike reaction before heading to the shower to start her day.

Coming out of the bathroom wrapped in her towel, Myka restrained from laughing at the sight on the bed. It never ceased to amaze her how much space Helena could take up in the bed when given the opportunity. She sat down on the edge of the bed watching the sleeping form. Unable to resist touching her any longer, she feathered her fingertips across the now bare shoulders, the covers pushed away down to Helena's waist during her time in the shower.

"I can feel you staring," she barely mumbled.

"I know you can," Myka whispered with a smile. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed hearing you say that?"

She leaned down brushing a kiss against the soft, parted lips, ghosting a trace of her tongue across the upper lip.

Without opening her eyes, Helena shifted as little as her drained body would allow, placing her head on Myka's lap. "That's not how the rest goes," Helena whined, still heavy with sleep. "I'll answer you anyway; as much as I've missed saying it. I missed you," she murmured into the towel. Myka began to stroke the head of silken hair now in her lap, receiving a moan in return. "You'll put me back to sleep doing that."

"I know. You need it. You're whining. What time did you get back? I never felt you crawl in behind me." Myka frowned at the thought. Though a nice surprise to awaken in warm arms, she was baffled at having not sensed the woman's return.

"I must either be getting more cunning, or you're becoming less observant. I think it was 3:30. It took me some time to locate you. How long have you been here at the inn?" her voice was fading.

"Oh," Myka sighed, "I held out for maybe four days. I couldn't take the emptiness you leave behind or the silence."

"Hmm. Next time leave a note. One day I may find a stranger in this room and not you. Or, I'll need to assume you ran off…is it, 'with the milkman'?"

"Yes, and you have no worries of either. I'll always come here."

"Hmm…that's good…I missed you." Her lips parted as her voice trailed off and her body relaxed into sleep from the continued stroking. Gently, Myka placed her head back on a pillow and smiled as the small frame spread out on the bed even more. Shaking her head, she finished dressing in the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind her.

* * *

"Hey, Mykes. When are we…"

"Shhh!" She whipped her head around, her finger against her lips. "Helena got back late this morning."

"Oh, sorry," Pete whispered. "Doesn't she usually tell you she's on her way home?"

"When she can. Most times recently she can't, and if she got back a few hours ago she probably didn't want to wake me."

"When did she get back?"

"I guess 3:30. It was a short conversation. I tried not to wake her in the first place."

"Come on, Mykes. You guys always know when the other is there. You two are kind of freaky that way."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, she didn't wake me this time." Myka frowned.

"Who's freaky?" Claudia asked pouring coffee for herself and pulled out two more cups.

"Wells & Bering, here," Pete offered, knowing it bugged her.

"Bering & Wells, and we are not freaky," Myka corrected him.

"Uh, yeah, you are. You two have that freaky extra-sensory thing with each other going on. It's freaky." Claudia handed her the coffee. "What's this all about anyway?"

"Oh, nothing. Helena came back early this morning. She's upstairs sleeping."

"Oh, so you'll be going back home tonight? I kind of liked it with you back in your old room, especially since Steve's been visiting his mom." Claudia stared at the floor.

"Me too, but I know you don't really want us back." Myka's smile broadened as she grabbed a muffin. "Especially after she's back to being part of the living again."

"Oh, definitely not. You just go back to that little love shack of yours." Claudia shook her hand, gesturing her away, and soundly sat down at the table. "I'll be keeping my windows closed tonight and probably tomorrow night, too. You better eat a big breakfast, 'cause after three weeks, you are definitely going to need it." A muffin hit her in the head. Without blinking Claudia calmly looked up at Myka, crumbs in her hair. "See, you should be eating eggs, not muffins. More protein. Grab a couple of those energy bars too. Always good to have a spare in your back pocket."

"Ouch!" Pete rubbed his arm. "Why are you hitting me? She's the one commenting on your stud muffin's return, not me. Ouch! Come on. I have a permanent bruise there."

"First one was because you've been a bad influence on Claudia. Second one is for calling Helena my stud muffin. We've talked about that, Pete. And just as an update, she does know what it means and you will end up with a knee in your chest if she hears it." Myka stood up to grab some eggs.

"Mykes, get over it already. Just admit it. She's hot and you like it."

"Pete, we already know she likes it; repeatedly and loudly." Claudia ducked before the egg hit her, her eyes following its trajectory to the floor and smash. "Too slow! And with that folks, I'm off to the warehouse. I'll tell Artie you'll be late 'cause you've got a little mess to clean up there," Claudia pointed to the floor before running out the door before getting hit with anything else.

"I wonder if he'll let me off this afternoon. Maybe tomorrow. It's been three weeks." She leaned back against the counter with her arms crossed, waiting for the eggs to cook, pouting at the floor.

"Yeah, good luck with that one." Pete stood up, taking the spatula from her hand and handed her the roll of paper towels. "Let me finish your eggs while you clean your mess. It's like one of the few things I can cook and we don't want you to miss out on your protein." He stepped back before she could hit him. "Man, you are cranky today. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just frustrated." She started cleaning the floor, taking out her frustrations on the slimy egg.

"Well, yeah, but that'll get taken care of soon enough..."

She abruptly stood up glaring at him. "Not funny, Pete! That's not what I meant."

"Okay, fine." He put the eggs on a plate, carrying it to the table. "Come on. Eat your eggs and talk to Uncle Pete. What's got you so worked up?"

She flopped down in the chair, scraping it along the floor in the process. Taking a bite of the eggs, she sat staring through the door up the staircase. "These are really good, Pete, thanks."

"Yeah, and you're avoiding me."

"No. It's the whole side job thing."

She sighed heavily with frustration, running her hands through her hair and leaning back against the chair with a decisive thud.

"She was pulled out of the field after that trip with Steve because of her ankle and then the Regents retracted it to send her away again for an indeterminate amount of time. She was still limping for crying out loud. Probably still is, but I don't know because I had like a five minute conversation with her, which she probably won't even remember, before she fell asleep again. I'm not actually convinced she was awake."

"And what's she have to say about all of this?"

"Mostly the same thing we all say; it's her job and we all knew this going in. Pete, if that ankle doesn't heal right, she won't be able to do field work. I don't know what she does out there. Half the time she can't even let me know when she's on her way home. And it really bugs me that I never knew she got into bed this morning until I woke up. Maybe we are freaky, but that's the first time that's happened." Embarrassed, she wiped the unexpected tear creeping out of the corner of her eye.

"So, is this about the freaky thing not happening or the Regents using your girlfriend as an uber-pawn?"

"Both!" Hearing movement upstairs she lowered her voice. "Both. Pete, you and I both know they've manipulated us. It just seems like they've always used her for their own devices beyond the call of duty. They kept her in limbo land just so they could turn her on and off at will when THEY needed her. Now, it just seems they have some sort of power over her that she can't talk about. When we got back from Tenerife the side jobs were supposed to be minimal. Now they are sending her out on a bad ankle for three weeks!"

"Unless you want to wake up sleeping beauty and she is…uh, what I mean is, keep your voice down or you'll wake her up with those oversensitive ears of hers. And the freaky thing?" He got up clearing the table while Myka stared up the stairs again.

"I don't know. It's just never happened before. At least not in a really long time. Claudia's right. We do have some sort of weird sixth sense or something. But why not this morning?"

"I don't know, Mykes. My vibe can get kind of confused sometimes. Maybe it's like that. Length of separation?"

Myka shrugged. "I don't know. She's been gone longer before and it's never affected by distance." Myka crossed her arms getting more frustrated.

"Really? You two are freaky." Pete looked at her perplexed by that new bit of information. "Well, let's get going. You can come back at lunch and see if she's awake and maybe we can talk Artie into letting you go for the afternoon. Claud and I can handle it and it has been three weeks. Even he knows what that's like."

"Yeah, grab me a banana will you?" She grabbed another muffin, too.

* * *

Artie swiveled in his chair before turning his attention back to the screen in front of him at the sound of the door opening.

"Where the hell have you been? Speaking of which, you look like it too." He shot a glance over his shoulder.

"Thank you so much, Artie. I can always depend on you to make me feel properly welcomed home. You know very well I can't tell you where I've been." She limped in to sit at the table, placing a large paper bag on the surface. "If it helps any, I've brought you all lunch. Nothing fancy. We all know the extent of my domestic abilities. Mostly various deli selections and sandwiches. I think there are a few fresh cookies too. That were still warm at the time. Which reminds me, you are supposed to give me cooking lessons. I very much want to make Myka dinner soon without setting off the smoke alarms."

He turned again to look at her while she crossed the room.

"You're still limping." His frown was missed by HG as she sat in the chair.

"Always the observant one, aren't you, Artie? That tends to be the unfortunate effect when things are not given sufficient time to heal." She reluctantly grimaced in pain when her foot hit the table leg.

"You should have it looked at. I'll call Vanessa," he offered, more softly. He wasn't sure which of the two of them enjoyed the animosity game more.

"Already done. I have an orthopedic consult tomorrow. I'd like Myka to come with me if you can spare her. Where will I find her?"

"Of course. Take whatever time you need. I'll let her know your up here." He started to turn to the desk.

She stood up, limping to the stairs. "That won't be necessary. I've managed quite well on my own, thank you."

Artie grunted in response. "You shouldn't be….I don't know where she is, just follow the static balls. She's been cranky. You can take her back with you. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten dumped on yet or at least zapped."

"Well, I'd best go find her then. Do enjoy your lunch."

She wandered the aisles following the increased static until she heard them.

"No, Pete. It doesn't go there. See? Look at the tag." She waved the tag in his face.

"I did look at the tag. You're reading it wrong. That's an 8 not a 6. Get your eyes examined."

"Are you sure?" Myka demanded, hands on her hips.

"Yes. Look." Pete pointed at the disputed number getting exasperated. "Don't get your panties in such a twist or you're going to get us dumped on. Man, what is up with you?"

"I think we already talked about that. Now get this thing up there. It's hideous." Pete caught Myka out of the corner of his eye as he placed the artifact. She picked her head up looking down the empty aisle, a smile spreading on her face.

"Anything I can help with?" HG appeared around the corner and leaned against the shelves watching them argue.

"Freaky," he muttered under his breath. He pointed a finger at Myka. "Yeah, get her out of here before she causes a big disturbance. I've already gotten zapped twice." Usually jovial, Pete was distinctly annoyed at his partner. "By the way, welcome home. Have a nice trip?"

"It was…interesting, as always." She frowned at him, somewhat disturbed.

"Ah-ha. The Wells way of saying 'I can't tell you.' We missed you. Claudia is way over-due for a prank, so I hope you have something up your sleeve. Vaseline on the toilet is funny only so many times and not that original. Now, please get her out of here," he begged, not missing the frown before it instantly brightened. He wasn't pleased with the frown, but he admired that she had started to let her walls down a little around the rest of the team.

"That's exactly why I'm here. Artie wants you gone. Something about a bit of static. A bit cranky today, are we? I rather expected a warmer welcome than this." She held her hand out to Myka who greedily grasped it, interlacing their fingers.

"Bye, Pete. See you for dinner," Myka called back as Helena pulled her down another aisle.

He snorted. "I don't think so."

* * *

"You're still limping." They were passing the library at the time.

"Yes, but I'm not really interested in that at the moment. I would rather get home so I can have a proper welcome home. But for now, this will have to do."

Helena grasped the door knob pulling Myka in behind her. Slamming the door shut with her knee, she turned Myka into the back of the door, her knee firmly set between the long legs. Pressing in firmly with her hip, she pulled Myka's head towards her eager mouth. Teasing open her lips with her tongue before claiming the warm mouth in an overdue greeting, she tasted the missing ingredient of life for the past three weeks.

"I hear you're cranky. Perhaps I can fix that." She pulled out Myka's shirt, letting her hands explore the soft skin. Scratching the sides of her torso, Helena dropped to her knees, ignoring the stabbing pain running through her ankle, allowing her mouth to take free rein over the expanse of Myka's abdomen.

Myka let out a lengthy, loud groan as nimble fingers began to work on her belt.

"Ahem."

They froze, hearing the loudly cleared throat from the room behind them. "You guys might want to, oh, maybe, look before you leap next time. There really were reasons that we built that cottage for you. This was one of the big ones. I'll just be leaving now, if I can get by, please. Nice to have you back, HG. Oh, and keep in mind the warehouse echoes. I remember from your many previous reunions, not that it ever kept you quiet before." Claudia managed to squeeze through the door Myka had been slammed against, leaving the two shocked women staring at each other.

Helena burst out laughing at Myka's expression. "It is slightly amusing, dear, that you're still embarrassed, and she's not so much. Must be those journals." Standing up, she pulled off her shirt, throwing it on one of the chairs, and slowly began to work on Myka's, laying a kiss against the exposed skin after each button was released. "Let's not waste an empty room now. I happen to like echoes."

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

They walked into the cottage to the smell of chili warming in a crock pot. Helena limped over to the refrigerator discovering a plate of cream puffs and a pitcher of margaritas. The table was set and a DVD with a note was in the middle of the table.

Helena poured drinks and stuffed a whole cream puff in her mouth as she brought a drink over to Myka. "Mmm…I wav Cwadia," she mumbled swallowing the cream puff, closing her eyes in pure pleasure. "When did you give her the key back?"

Myka stared at what she had just witnessed. "I'm not letting you hang around Pete anymore. What happened to all that Victorian dignity and grace and not talking with food in your mouth?" She took a sip of the margarita, quickly imitating Helena and closing her eyes. "Oh my god, I love Claudia. I didn't give her the key back. Someone in this house honed her already excellent lock picking abilities. She just breaks in if I lock the door. But I ignore it because you also taught her how to make a mean margarita. Half the time I don't even bother. Pete must have made the chili."

"Mmmm. He must have. It smells spicy." Helena turned around with a devilish grin. "If Pete made it I may not even need hot sauce."

"Not if you want to kiss me later or anything else." Myka picked up the disc and read the note, starting to laugh.

"Okay, so, that's no to hot sauce and yes to tequila. Darling, what is that and what is so amusing?" She came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist, pointing at the disc.

"It's from Claudia:

 _HG,_  (nice, she doesn't acknowledge me),  _I managed to push Grumpy out in time to get the footage from the library, a.k.a. camera 28. Another thing to look for before leaping. Thought you'd want it instead of Artie. You're safe. He'll never know, and neither will Pete. Just like all the other times I've wiped you two clean. I've entitled it, 'Lunch in the Library'. Hope the cream puffs are creamy enough, but I don't think that will be a problem for the two of you tonight. Library. Case in point. Pete made the chili. You can thank me in the morning or whenever you get your horny butts out of bed and over here. Artie expects you to be late and seems happy about it, but you didn't hear that from me. Oh, I made the margaritas just like you taught me. Myka's are too weak. As Mrs. F. would say, 'mind your consumption!'. We ALL know what tequila does to you, though I've never heard your girl complain…quite the opposite. So, I'm shutting my windows now._

_-Claudia._

_PS. Pete says if you want Myka to get her groove on_ (what the hell?), _don't add hot sauce, and tequila does the same thing to her, but you probably already know that. He's shutting his windows, too._

_We missed you, but we're really glad you live over there._

Helena took the disc from Myka. "That's my girl. I remember a time when this all used to embarrass her. I think she's secretly made a game of it now. Want to watch it?" She winked at Myka.

Myka yanked it out of her hands with wide eyes before she could get it in the player, her face quickly turning bright red.

"No!"

"Really, darling, don't tell me you've never watched porn." She cocked her head in disbelief, grabbing it back out of Myka's hand.

"Well, no…but I wasn't a main character. What would you know about it anyway?"

"What a mistaken view you have of my time. If you only knew. Perhaps I'll enlighten you later. Come on, we might learn something…"

"I said, no."

"Fine. We'll leave it for a rainy day," she conceded, throwing it in with the pile. "Have another drink and sit down." She handed her glass to Myka, with a pleading look. Sitting down on the sofa with a grunt, she put her foot up on the table. "May I have a refill too, please?"

On her return, Myka put a tray with the pitcher of margaritas and their glasses on the table, as well as a bowl of chili, and dropped a bag of ice on the floor.

"Close your eyes," Myka said before turning around towards the sofa.

"Whatever for?"

"You've never once questioned that request before, so don't do it now," Myka said laughing.

Closing her eyes, Helena got a devilish grin on her face. "Perhaps not, but quite often I'm horizontal when you ask."

"Then lie down. I have ice for your ankle anyway and I like it better when I'm behind you. But open your mouth first."

"My, you are getting demanding. A girl can only hope." She opened her mouth, receiving another cream puff. "Mmmm. I'll never question that request ever again." She scooted forward so Myka could wiggle in behind her while she put her foot up on a pillow and adjusted the ice. She leaned back into the long body, resting her head on Myka's chest, wrapped in her arms. "This truly is heaven. You have no idea how much I've missed this."

Handing Helena her drink, Myka placed her chin on the head resting against her. "Oh, but I do. Rubbing Claudia's feet is not nearly as pleasurable as rubbing yours."

Helena barked a quick laugh. She leaned over for the chili offering the first spoon to Myka. "Are you cheating on me already? You moved into the house after only four days and now rubbing Claudia's feet."

Myka laughed. "Trying to get rid of me, Wells? Her feet actually did hurt. Yours I rub for pure sensual enjoyment. Besides, last time I was gone, you only lasted two days before you sneaked into our old bedroom." She kissed the top of the head. Helena dropped the spoon of food on her. "This isn't going to work and you know it. Give me the bowl. Take your drink." Myka took the bowl and spoon, sharing the food with the woman in her arms in silence.

Putting the empty bowl on the tray, Myka, after much contemplation, decided to bring up what Helena had avoided before their library luncheon. "Speaking of feet…"

"Please, don't. Not now." Helena turned her head on Myka's chest to stare at the empty bowl, face void of expression. Myka began stroking the head pressing it into her for comfort. "I'm meeting Dr. Calder and an orthopedic specialist tomorrow. I would like you to be there. Artie approved. I know all the arguments we have over this situation, but can we please not discuss it tonight? I have had an especially difficult three weeks and have missed you terribly. I know it has not been easy for you either, but at least you have our family around you." A single tear escaped to fall on Myka's chest. "I hate not being able to contact you. I want this time to soak up every bit of you I can, in the present. Please?"

"I'm sorry." She kissed the top of her head again, resting her own cheek against the resting head. "That bad?"

"You have no idea." Another tear escaped.

"You're home now. You're safe with me. Can you sit up for a second?" Helena leaned forward. Myka pulled her blouse and bra off in one swift move, not bothering with the buttons, before pulling off Helena's. "Okay, lean back." She grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa to hold off the chill. "That's much better," Myka sighed.

"I'd have to agree." Helena stroked one of the arms holding her against the warm bare skin. "As lovely as our lunch was, I did miss the cuddling afterwards. You've corrupted me. I never needed nor wanted to cuddle before I met you." She turned her head around to meet the lips above her.

"I wasn't really thinking of this as the cuddling part," Myka whispered in her ear before nibbling on the tender spot below it. "I was thinking more along the lines of extensive foreplay." Her free hand traced a haphazard path up to the finely sculpted collarbone, as Helena relaxed into the touch. "I've missed touching you and leaving you behind this morning was torture."

Helena rose into the touch with a small sound of pleasure, the back of Myka's hand slowly gliding down across her chest to graze against her nipple. Myka's hand continued its journey down her middle to the edge of her jeans, making a slow, torturous return, retracing its mirrored path across the other breast. "Are your eyes closed?"

"Oh god, yes," exhaled Helena, pressing her head back into its resting place, her breaths coming more shallowly.

"Still feel like cuddling?" Myka whispered in the other ear, her hand repeating its previous journey, interrupting the path at various points, exploring the territory it crossed.

Helena turned around in Myka's arms, straddling one thigh, ice pack falling to the floor. Darkening, liquid brown eyes gazed into bright green. Resting her forehead against the one below, she failed at gaining control of her heightened breathing. Digging both hands in Myka's hair, she leaned forward to claim the slightly parted lips, sucking the lower lip into her mouth. Myka dug her nails into the back of Helena's neck before scraping her nails down her back to the base of her spine, causing the woman to collapse on her.

"What do you do to me?" Helena murmured into the neck she fell into. Myka's hands traveled slowly up and down her back again, he thigh pressing deeper. "I cannot guarantee extensive, darling, but I prefer to continue this in my own bed."

"Trust me, it will be extensive, but in OUR bed."

* * *

The song of the resident orchard oriole brought Myka reluctantly out of her sleep on the warm air riding through the open window, slightly smiling at the long absent warmth underneath her. She shifted her weight off the smaller body, always surprised Helena rarely complained about feeling crushed. Closing her eyes again, she allowed her fingertips to delicately navigate the soft curvatures of the body beside her, reassuring herself it was real.

It was real. Thinner, but real. Her Helena. After three long weeks it was real; it was soft, it was warm, it breathed and sighed, it was…wet. With a smile Myka positioned herself above Helena, following her fingers with her own gentle, moist kisses down the length of the soul beneath her, responsive in its half-conscious state. Another sigh. Conscious of the painful ankle, she explored the wetness awaiting her. Two strong, delicate hands found her head, digging deep into her hair, holding her in place. Quietly, with barely an utterance of a sound, Helena's body tensed and released, continuing to ride out the waves of her orgasm. Myka pulled herself up, anchoring the writhing body to her, Helena's nails sinking into the flesh of her shoulders, face held firmly in her neck quietly sucking air into her lungs.

With the oriole still singing, a calm settled over the loft. Myka gently lay Helena back down as her tight grip relaxed from her shoulders. She swept a light kiss across her lips before dropping one on each still closed eye and her forehead. Myka slid to her side, arms protectively holding the speechless woman, still struggling to control her breaths, tears escaping the corners of her tightly, closed eyes. With her thumb Myka wiped the tears away and caressed Helena's cheek, stroking back and forth. "Honey, are you okay?" she asked softly.

Temporarily dismantled, Helena nodded, swallowing loudly.

"Hey, come here."

Myka rolled onto her back, pulling Helena tightly against her. Burying her face into Myka's neck she gave into the silent torrent of tears while Myka ran her fingers through her hair and across her back letting the emotions ride. The bird left them behind in silence leaving the warm breeze to embrace them as Helena's breathing settling in the calm.

"I've never made anyone cry before." Incredulous, Myka rubbed her cheek against the head still buried in her neck. "You've never been so, uh…quiet."

Tears abating, Helena pulled her face out of Myka's neck to rest on her shoulder. "I've never experienced either before. I've never experienced anything so…overwhelming. What are you doing to me, Myka Bering? What power do you hold over me?"

"I love you, Helena. That's all. I love you."

* * *

"Thank you for not taking down the nurse." Myka leaned against the exam table with an arm around Helena's waist.

"What part, exactly, did she not understand of 'She stays here'? Myka, I can be quite subtle you know. Charming even. It's gotten me many favors in the past."

"So I understand. Like kissing Pete? Oh, and that Minoan glare of yours? So subtle," she added sarcastically, smiling at the floor.

"Well, perhaps not so much in this instance…and stop calling it the Minoan glare. I don't really find the humor that the rest of you all seem to find with that moniker. It is not exactly the high point in my present life, you know."

"Um, I can understand that. It isn't really high on my list either, what with forcing you to point a gun at my head and all, but if we'd had a camera, I think you'd understand."

"Why am I dressed in this stupid garment?" She picked up the corner of the gown, disgusted. Annoyed with her present situation, Helena crossed her arms and lifted her leg, pointing at the injured ankle. "I'm here for my ankle and it's freezing in here."

"You're in that gown because you're overdue for your annual physical and Dr. Calder wants to give you a full exam after your most recent adventure. Oh, and I like to help you get naked." Myka snuck her hand through the opening of the gown, teasing the bare skin of her back down to her buttocks.

"Didn't get enough of that in the last 24 hours? I would have thought that shower would have held you over just a bit longer." Helena laughed at her. Her hair was still damp. They were lucky to have made the appointment on time.

"I wasn't the one rendered speechless. Oh, no, I'm sorry, I meant silent, from her wake up call."

Myka was still gloating over her achievement, a huge smirk on her face as she raised her eyebrows, looking at the gowned women next to her. Vexed at the smirk on her face, Helena responded in the only way she could think of at the time. Spinning her taller partner into her arms and encasing her with the strong legs that were hanging off the end of the table, she brought the unsuspecting woman in for a hard, deep kiss.

"Good morning, ladies." Dr. Calder laughed at the surprised women, closing the door behind her. "Don't let me interrupt you. I did knock. Twice. I understand it's been a few weeks?" Myka instantly turned red, eyes wide open, quickly disentangling herself from Helena's embrace. "Don't bolt just yet, Myka. Now, Helena, I know you want to have Myka present for the exam, and you're okay with that, Myka?" Still mortified, Myka nodded. "Okay, now I need to clarify, Helena, do you want her here for the full physical and the orthopedic consult or just the consult."

Confused by the question, she wrapped the gown tighter around herself. "Why would I not want her here for both?"

"I'm just making sure we are all clear on the game plan for this morning and what will be involved, as this is a full physical exam including a complete pelvic exam."

All color drained from the face of the gowned figure on the exam table. "Oh, no. That is not happening! I am here for my ankle. I absolutely refuse."

"Unfortunately, the Regents and I disagree with you on that point. It's not optional, even for you. I will ask you, Myka, to leave before the exam for the history as I find my patients tend to be a little more honest. Dr. Brandon will be here, hopefully soon, for the consult." Dr. Calder looked at Myka for her input on this. She knew the procedure was much more difficult for the Victorian than the average person.

Myka took the nearest hand and rubbed Helena's back. "Helena, look at me. It's not that bad. We know you've been through it before and you survived. No one is comfortable with it, but it is necessary. I know modern medicine can still be awkward for you to accept. Hey, when you think about it, you're getting off easy. I've been through it more times than you have, and I'm going to be right here if you want me, holding your hand."

The white-faced woman nodded her head. "You'll be right here, through the whole thing?"

"Of course." Myka nodded her head at Vanessa. "I'll be right outside the door until you're ready for me, and no kenpo!" She kissed the worried forehead and squeezed her hand before stepping out the door, Vanessa mouthing a silent 'thank you'.

"My ankle hurts too much for kenpo," she pouted.

Myka leaned against the wall waiting outside the door. She shook her head and chuckled at Helena's occasional raised voice, catching snippets here and there. "Of course not…yes, Myka…that was a different life time…Since I was debronzed…No, I don't…WHAT?...How could you possibly think that…sorry to disappoint you…I think Myka would disagree…Well, that is a rather personal question…fine!"

The door opened and Vanessa popped her head out. She smiled at Myka, sighing heavily and whispered under her breath, "I don't know how you do it."

Myka chuckled. "Sometimes I don't either, but I'm pretty sure she can say the same about me. You want me to come back in now?"

"Please. Thank god I gave you two a hard push when I did."

"You call that a push?" Myka smiled back. "I would have described it as a hearty shove off the plank, but thank you anyway."

"My pleasure. Although, Artie likes to disagree with me." Letting her through the door Dr. Calder turned to her patient. "We actually got most of the exam done during our conversation. Now, if you will just lie down and place your arm above your head."

"Why?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

She smiled down at her difficult patient. "We've been through this before, Helena. My hands are warm now, but I can very easily change that with some cold water."

Myka took her hand and gently brought it back into position, giving the hand a slight squeeze. Helena sighed in defeat and complied, but decided not to let the doctor get away with her victory so easily.

"Myka performs this job much better than you do," she muttered.

"Oh, my God, Helena!" She released the hand instantly. "Was that comment really necessary? I can still leave the room you know." Myka pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Taking the two women in stride, Vanessa continued without a flinch. "I'm sure Myka has a completely different objective in mind than I do, now doesn't she? And you've made it quite clear that so do you. Now for the fun part. Scoot down and we'll be done before you know it."

Myka took her hand as she settled into position. Noting that even Helena was now red-faced, she started to stroke the flushed forehead.

Dr. Calder started the exam complete with distracting conversation. "Three weeks this time? Well, I imagine it's been quite the reunion. Simmering a little? Didn't interrupt anything, did I?" She looked up at Myka, smiling at the red face. "I'm sorry, Myka. It's very unprofessional, but you are too much fun to tease. So, have you two given any thought to having children?" Both women snapped their heads around at the doctor, wide-eyed, Helena nearly jumping off the table. "Hold on. Okay, maybe not the best opener. Sorry. So, that would be a 'no' then?"

Trying to calm Helena's increasing anxiety, Myka spoke up, still stroking the forehead resting on the pillow of the exam table, resting a firm hand on her shoulder. "Um, we've sort of put it on the table for discussion, but nothing serious. There's a lot to consider."

"Yes, there is. Okay, Helena, just a little pressure."

"Bloody hell!"

Myka looked down at her in disbelief, fighting dropping the hand again. "Helena, stop! I know this is uncomfortable and not exactly something we all look forward to, but it's not like you haven't been through it before. You survived then, and you'll survive now. God, unless you've exaggerated, from what I've heard, and read at your insistence, of your past..."

"Completely different objectives, Myka! How could you possibly make a comparison? I would think my exp…"

"Stop right there, Helena," Myka said coldly.

Vanessa bit her tongue at the exchange, smiling at the ground continuing, "I'm sure then, that you haven't given any thought about who would carry the child, if that's what you'd want to do. Okay, one more thing Helena…I just thought you should know that if at some point it becomes something you seriously consider…and we're done. You can sit up now." Myka helped Helena sit up at the end of the table again, rubbing her back.

"I don't see any apparent reason that you, Helena, shouldn't have another child if you choose, pending further discussion of course. If that is a consideration, I would, however, recommend sooner than later. Unless you have serious thoughts, then that's all I have to say until when and if you decide and we'll examine the issue closer." Helena looked at her with surprise before glancing at Myka. This news was something they'd never considered.

"Myka, don't look so worried. There's no pressure from me. I'm just informing you of a possibility. Neither of you are getting any younger and that window of opportunity will close before you know it." Dr. Calder took the woman's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You can get changed, Helena. I'm going to go see if Dr. Brandon is here yet. We need to get that ankle evaluated. I'm not very happy with the Regents."

Myka glanced at Helena gathering her clothes to change, before looking at the Dr. "Neither am I," she said quietly.

"I know. It's written all over your face. I've been through too much with you two. Sometimes you feel like my kids. I'll try not to tease you so much."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so maybe margaritas, chili and cream puffs are a strange combo, but I never said I was normal.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Dr. Brandon arrived 20 minutes later. After repeat radiographs, manipulations and discussion he sat down with both women and Dr. Calder.

"I understand that this is not just a personal concern, but also a professional one. This is the third, fourth, fifth time you've sprained this ankle? And physical therapy has not been successful in regaining the stability you need. I also understand that this last sprain was unable to receive the healing time it required and I'm guessing from its present condition you rolled it again very recently. In my professional opinion, I don't think it would have made a great deal of difference in the result. The damage is done. It has just made a more extended and painful recovery. I'll be sure to get a refill for a different NSAID for you. That should help. I think you already know what I'm going to say. RICE: rest, ice, compression, elevation. It should help some, but it's not a new injury now. Really, there isn't much more damage you can do to it at this point.

"That being said, what I think we should consider is surgery to stabilize the ankle. It will require strict compliance for a full recovery as well as physical therapy. That can take up to twelve weeks, sometimes more for complete recovery and a return to normal activity. I believe Dr. Calder has some influence in preventing outside influences that would hinder recovery.

"I genuinely believe this surgery will make a difference. Otherwise, you will be looking at a life time with a high probability of easily rolling that ankle, a less rigorous life and ultimately a change in your work status. You are a strong, young, very physically active woman. I'd hate to see you lose that.

"Look, I know this is a lot to absorb. I want you to go home and think about it and we can discuss in more detail the actual procedure and recovery process. Both Dr. Calder and I are happy to answer any questions going forward. I do suggest that if you choose to go through with the surgery, you should probably consider it soon. That's not meant to pressure you, and I know that it feels that way, it's just reality. You've suffered for a several weeks. Why wait when you can bypass that?"

He smiled at the two women staring at him. "Okay. I can see you're getting that overload glaze. Call us with any questions. It was nice to meet you both." With the cordialities done, he left them alone with Dr. Calder in her office.

Dr. Calder looked at them. They did have that glazed overload look. He was right on all accounts, and she didn't want to say what she had to say. "Helena, I know modern medicine is scary to you. It would be to anyone that ended up looking at it from your point of view. Your state of pneumonia would have been a death sentence in the 19th century. I can't even imagine what the thought of surgery is like for you. It doesn't matter what I or anyone else says that is going to ease your mind. I do have to tell you that I know what the Regents have strongly decided. However, I stress that the final decision still remains yours and yours alone. Remember that. This is a decision for you and Myka to make, not the Regents."

"They want me to have the surgery," Helena said bluntly. She had been staring at the books on the bookshelves behind the doctors desk, counting the number on each shelf, and then calculating the average number of books on a shelf. It settled her mind, this sense of order.

"Yes, they do. But it is YOUR decision, NOT theirs!" Vanessa stressed.

She looked back at her with a blank face and flatly announced, "I don't have a choice. I'm too valuable an asset to them now. I'm an invested interest. I've never had a choice." She stood up and walked out the door before Myka could even react.

"Myka let her go," Vanessa said. "The part I hate is she's probably right. They'd find a way around any decision she tried to make otherwise."

"You know what she does for them, don't you?" Myka stood in front of her.

"No, Myka, I really don't. Sometimes I know where she is and sometimes I've even patched her up. What really sucks, Myka, is you end up in the dark, waiting, and wondering how long she'll be gone, where she is or if she'll even come back. That's got to hurt like Hell for both of you. I don't know why she is so valuable to them." Vanessa had tears in her own eyes as she hugged Myka. "She has to have the surgery and she knows it."

"I know. Let us know when it's arranged. I need to get her home."

Myka walked slowly to the door. Before opening it she turned around to Vanessa. "It will work, right?"

"I believe so. Dr. Brandon is one of the best. His technique has one of the highest success rates, and bless that stubborn pain in our asses, she will not allow it to not work." Quietly shutting the door, Myka got to the car to find Helena already in the passenger seat, head back against the head rest, tears silently staining her face.

* * *

They arrived at the house as the sun was setting. Myka set the car in park and turned off the ignition, Helena staring blankly in front of her. Claudia came running out on the porch as they closed the car doors, Helena taking the lead limping home. "Hey, Myka, how'd it go?"

"Not now, Claud," Myka said quietly, unwilling to look her in the face and slowly following behind her girlfriend.

"But I thought…"

Myka turned her head snapping back, "I said later!"

Helena had poured two margaritas left over from the night before and was digging in the freezer, finding an ice pack under a bag of Steve's burritos.

Myka leaned against the counter watching her. She crossed her arms hugging herself and drew in a deep breath.

Helena turned to her offering the glass. Helena took the drink and emptied it in two swallows setting it back down on the counter. "Are you hungry? I can heat up some chili."

"No, I'm not hungry."

Myka watched her putter around the kitchen aimlessly, ice pack in hand, until she couldn't hold back the question nagging at her during the silent trip home. "I need to ask you, Helena, why are you having the surgery just because the Regents want you to?"

Having skirted the issue of the Regents since before she'd left three weeks ago, she knew the discussion was unavoidable. "Because it is my job and I am obligated to do so. I'd most likely do it anyway. What mother would want to play chase with her child and worry about a sprained ankle after carrying it for nine months?"

"Wait a minute…what did you say?" Myka shook her head trying to clear it, uncertain of what she thought she just heard.

She turned around towards Myka with her glass in one hand, making a grand gesture with the ice pack in her other.

"I was being facetious, darling, merely based on an example provided by our good doctor's news that I am more than likely able to bear us a child should I so choose. Apparently, after three weeks of celibacy, we are quite the randy couple as well." Helena took a healthy draw from her glass and headed into the living room, Myka following.

"So, you are having the surgery for the Regents, even if you don't want to?"

Helena looked at her with sad eyes for a moment before speaking. Rubbing her forehead, she pushed her hair back. Looking straight into the green eyes she nodded. "Yes."

"But, it's your decision," Myka insisted

Exasperated, Helena continued, voice rising with each word, "No, Myka, it is not. Very little of anything I do is my decision. Are you really that blind? We are their marionettes, manipulated to their will. In my case, literally turned on and off when they required my so-called expertise. How lucky for them to have a living, genius resource from a century ago whenever they wanted. Even you were granted that power, Myka. You were the only one I trusted with that power. They claimed it was more humane. More humane than what? They know nothing of humanity. Do you have any idea what it is like to sit and wait to have your own conscience be stripped away from you?" She dropped the ice pack on the floor, voice still rising with her diatribe. "I accept the consequences of my actions, and indeed they were contorted, depraved even, but they know not what a cruel thing it is to be forced to anticipate non-existence, wondering when and where you will suddenly be awoken by the one you know in your heart you've always loved and not be able to touch that one person you love most in this world! They change the rules according to their needs. Caturanga taught me to change the rules, remember? It just so happens, that it is impossible to change already arbitrary rules. MacPherson knew it, Sykes knew it and even Claudia knows it!"

Disturbed by this eerie line of thinking, Myka asked what had bothered her the night before. "Why were you gone for three weeks? Where were you? You were supposed to be pulled out of the field for six weeks. What was so damned important that you were not allowed to recover an injury from an assignment? One in which you were beaten up, too. Why didn't you just tell them 'no'?"

"You don't understand, Myka. I have no choice in saying 'yes' or 'no'!" she yelled, frustrated.

Indignant, Myka forged ahead in her own frustration. "You're right, I don't understand. Explain it to me. Explain to me why I have to accept watching the person I love leave, not knowing where she is, or for how long! At least when I leave you know where I am. You...you can't call me, you can't text me and you can't even tell me when you are coming home! Half the time your phone sits dead on the night stand. I wake up to find what sometimes seems like a stranger crawling into bed with me. Tired, emotionally worn, and always so thin." She stopped, taking a cleansing breath, calming herself. Throwing herself on the sofa she stared up at her partner. "Helena, I didn't even know you were home this last time until I woke up. That's never happened to us before. We always know when the other is there. That's why I was so cranky. Do you even remember yesterday morning? I was so happy and relieved to feel your arms around me.

"You told me in Tenerife you had a concrete reason to come home. You'd already starting discussing with the Regents about these side jobs. It was going to be an occasional thing. Helena, there is nothing occasional about it. If anything it's becoming more often, for longer periods of time. I don't want to lose you for a year again. I can't."

Helena sat in the chair next to the sofa dropping her head into her hands. "They said they would see what they could do, but that I was obligated to continue my job as a fully reinstated agent as was necessary in whatever capacity was required based upon my skills. Just like everyone else. Pete has his vibe, you have your attention to detail, Claudia is the techno-master, and Steve is the walking lie detector we can't play poker with."

"Why are you so important to them? Why do they have so much power over you? What is it?" Myka pleaded.

"I know things, and I have…other skills that they deem unique and necessary. Do you realize that during this surgery, I can almost guarantee you, not only will Dr. Calder be in that room, but also two Regents to insure I say nothing critical during the anesthetic procedure or the recovery?" Helena sobered having slid down the back of the chair letting Myka empty her pent-up rage.

"So, they what, own you or something?" Myka screamed now.

Helena sighed, closing her eyes to the dim light, a single tear fighting for purchase. "Myka, they've owned me since the day I asked to be bronzed." She spoke so softly Myka had to strain to hear the words.

Myka felt herself instantly turn cold. Her stomach dropped. Her head hurt.

Helena stood up abruptly, hands in the air. "Don't you understand, Myka? To tell you anything not only puts my life at risk but yours as well. You are the most important thing in this world to me!" She was sobbing now. "I had Christina taken away from me. I will not let you be taken away as well. Not again."

Following her example, Myka stood up in front of the smaller woman. "My life is already at risk, Helena. I joined the Secret Service for crying out loud! Every day I wake up here, or go on a mission, or even set foot in the warehouse, my life is at risk."

Helena grabbed the back of Myka's neck, forcefully pulling her forehead down to her own, tears flowing freely down her face. "Oh, Myka. My dearest, sweet Myka. You have no idea how extraordinarily different those risks are." Emptied of any more words, Myka could only respond by taking her into her arms and holding her tightly against her.

They stood like that until darkness took over the room forcing them to bed.

* * *

Myka woke early, walking to the house in her pajamas. At the smell of coffee, Claudia crept down wondering who was up so early. Coffee cup sitting untouched on the table, Myka stared out the window. Claudia poured her own cup sitting down next to her, sitting in silence as patiently as Myka always had for her. "Where's HG?"

"Still sleeping. I didn't want to wake her so I came over here. We had a rough night. I guess I woke you instead. Sorry."

"No, I was already awake working on some stuff and smelled the coffee. Is there something wrong with it?"

Myka looked down at the cooling, brown liquid. She half smiled. "It never tastes right until she drinks half of it complaining about how vile it is."

Claudia went over to the stove putting on the kettle laughing at their routine. "She's drinking more than half now. I'm not really sure why she keeps complaining about it at this point. We all know she just won't admit she likes it."

"It's just one of our things. If you poured her her own cup she wouldn't touch it."

Claudia came back to the table with a cup of tea. "You two are too cute sometimes. Drink this. You do the same thing with her tea. Is this what happens when you get married…uh, I mean not-married, but…oh, whatever the heck you call yourselves." Claudia gave her a reassuring smile.

"Thanks." Myka took a sip. "God, how does she drink this stuff?" She glanced at the young woman, grinning before taking another sip.

"So, that was quite a commotion you guys made, not that we heard it or anything. Everything okay?"

"No, it's not Claud." She got up and threw some bread in the toaster. "Want some toast?"

"Sure. I'll get the jam. Raspberry, okay?"

"Fine." Myka leaned on the counter waiting for the toast, contemplating the previous evening. When it got dark, they'd just gone to bed, emotionally drained. "Helena is going to have surgery on her ankle to stabilize it. High success rate."

"Well, that's good, right?" Claudia turned to face her.

"I guess." She came back with the toast. "It's the reason she's having it that is the issue."

Claudia looked up from her toast with her eyes. "What do you mean the reason? She ends up with a fixed ankle and everything is good. She's going to be a real pain in the ass, but it's worth it. Yeah, she's going to be a REALLY big pain in the ass." Claudia laughed at the thought of a cooped up HG.

"Claudia, she's doing it because of the Regents, not because she wants to. She said she would do it anyway, but she's doing it because the Regents want her to, not because she wants to. She has the final decision supposedly, but she claims she doesn't really have a choice, if that makes sense. I don't understand why they have so much power over her. Why can they make decisions for her that should be ours?"

"That's part of the deal, Mykes. We go into this for the 'greater good'," she said with a fake booming voice. "We all know that before we commit."

"Tell me, do you think they own her? She said last night they've owned her since she was bronzed."

"I don't know, Myka. Only she knows what arrangements, shall we say, they've made. I guess in a way I can see her point. She's been controlled by their decisions except when she uh, kind of went cuckoo. If you think about it, who's to say part of that wasn't a result of the Regents' actions of either 12 or 13? We only have her version of 12. The genie in the box thing was a little disturbing, though. I don't even want to think what limbo prison is like."

"So, I have to live the rest of my life like this? Not knowing where she is, when she's coming home or even if she is coming home? Why am I at such a greater risk if she tells me?"

Claudia leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. "Sounds to me you're thinking of you and not her. It's just as hard for her to be the one leaving you behind not knowing when she's coming home or even whatever it is she is doing. From what I've figured out, she doesn't even know the details until she's on her way. It's not like she's jumping with excitement when they call. She's played her part in the arrangement, whatever it is. Risk factor? None of us will probably ever know. But, Myka, she doesn't know how long you'll be gone on a mission, or if you're coming back either. And let's face it, you've had some long missions too. Remember Houston? You were gone for at least two weeks. At one point I thought I was going to end up with her in MY bed. It's always harder for the ones that stay behind because we feel helpless. I should know, I've stayed back enough. It doesn't matter what the job is. It works both ways."

"But what is so different about what she does? Why do they have so much power over her?"

Claudia placed a hand on her arm in the same way she did many months before. "Myka, I'm going to ask you the same thing I did at the beginning. Do you love her?"

"With all my heart, Claudia."

Claudia shrugged. "There you have it."

Myka finished the now cold tea. Standing up she placed both hands on the redhead's shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "Sometimes Claudia, I liked you better when you we're a kid."

"I have my moments. You love me this way, too. Still doesn't mean you can't keep bringing me back presents. Go home. She's scared and you're the only one she'll share that with. She needs you, Mykes."

"I'm an ass."

"Yep, sometimes. I won't tell her about the tea. Now get out of here."


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Myka dragged her feet up the stairs to the loft. The small form sprawled from corner to corner, covers half on the floor and had taken possession of both of her pillows. Pulling the covers back at the foot of the bed, Myka picked up the habitually cold feet, carefully turning Helena around so she could crawl up the bed behind her. The motion woke her up and she rolled over towards Myka, opening warm, tired, sad eyes. Neither of them had slept well.

"Hey, you. Move over. It's a king size bed. How on earth do you manage to take up so much space? Can I at least have a pillow?" She took one out of Helena's arms before the woman had a chance to comply. Helena kept the other one, shoving it under her own head, smiling like the devil, the sadness falling from her eyes.

"Where have you been?" a drowsy voice asked.

"I didn't want to wake you, so I went over to the house. Claudia was up."

Myka dragged her index finger down the center of Helena's nose to trace her lips before falling to her collarbone, playing with the indentations. She fixated on her finger playing on the warm skin. "I'm sorry. I'm an ass. I just get frustrated and I forget you do too. The Regents are part of our lives whether we like it or not. I've always known that. So, for whatever the reason, surgery it is. You need it. I cannot live with you confined to desk duty."

"Ah, so now that Myka is happy, everything is okay. We all need to just keep in mind she gets frustrated. Helena is the one under the Regents' thumb. Nothing for her to feel pressure over, or be upset over." Despite the deep sleepiness still present, the sarcasm was evident.

"You know what Helena? You're right. I've been really selfish. You are the one stuck in the middle for whatever reason. I'm trying to understand and I love you."

Helena tipped Myka's chin to look at her, softening. "I've always known you can be an ass, as can I. That would make us a pair of asses." She stopped the hand lingering on her throat, kissing it before leaning into Myka's lips. She pulled back her head, an odd expression directed at Myka.

"What?"

She leaned in again, this time taking her time in tasting the woman before her. Pulling back again, she tapped Myka on the nose, laughing. "You've been drinking tea," she enunciated each word.

Myka chuckled. "And a right vile substance it is." She tried her best imitation of her lover, making Helena laugh harder.

"That is the worst imitation I have ever heard, aside from Pete." She picked up a strand of hair curling it around her finger, quiet now. "I am very uneasy about surgery."

"I know. Just remember you have a big family with you and Claudia is going to be an annoying mother hen. Besides, how are you going to chase that kid of ours on a bad ankle? Any child of yours will need a lot of chasing after."

"What? You aren't serious, are you? I thought we'd decided we were not ready for that discussion."

"We aren't. I'm not. I'm still not ready to share you, yet I know it lingers in the back of your head. I see it on your face every time you see a child playing. You're torn by the thought, more so now with Vanessa's news. It's okay. It's still tabled as far as I'm concerned unless you feel differently. Just don't shut me out. Besides, we have an ankle to fix first."

Myka's hand returned to its earlier game at a leisurely pace.

"Helena, do you ever wear pajamas?"

"That's a rather odd question to ask after all this time. I would think you'd know the answer to that by now." She sat up to sit between Myka's legs, slowly unbuttoning her pajama top. Not receiving any input from the woman beneath her she finally answered the question. "Alright, Miss highly observant. Only when required for socially appropriate purposes; at the house alone, sometimes, or on missions, or for Claudia nights, which I've recently abandoned now that she has finally chosen the futon. It's her own fault if she gets a show. I sometimes think that girl has seen me naked more than Dr. Calder." She skimmed a hand slowly down Myka's now bare front. "Rarely, when I'm solely with you," she whispered.

"Why?" Myka grabbed the wandering hand.

"Why? Why not? I prefer the feel of these superb sheets and more importantly your own nakedness. It also saves time." She smiled wickedly down at her. Pulling Myka up by her shirt, she complained, "Darling, I could use a bit of help here." With a little maneuvering she managed to get rid of the rest of Myka's clothes. Settling herself against Myka she pressed into the woman, wrapping her arms and legs around her. "As you may have noticed, I have little time to waste right now." She breathed against her lips. "I promise time later."

Myka grasped her by her hips, biting down on the pale shoulder. "How much time?"

Leaning her head back Helena gasped, "All the time you want."

* * *

Artie walked Vanessa into the living room where everyone had assembled, including Mrs. Frederic.

"Well, this is certainly a rather unexpected large gathering. I didn't expect everyone to be here. It's a fairly simple operation."

"Yes, I've never felt quite so important before, except while in handcuffs. You didn't happen to bring some did you? I do warn you though, I'm quite adept at getting out of them," Helena responded sardonically. She sat in the corner of the sofa next to Myka, impressively white compared to her already pale complexion, jaw set, eyes focused on something irrelevant on the wall.

"Dr. Calder, I will remind you and everyone else sitting here that there is very little that is simple about this operation. The Regents have some very strong security concerns about this simple procedure. I will remind everyone in this room, also, that there will be no questions asked by any of you. I am sure by now you are all aware that it is classified." Mrs. Frederic looked pointedly at both Myka and Dr. Calder, everyone nodding their understanding.

"I also have my concerns, Irene, that the Regents understand the importance of the post-surgical recovery time and that I have their guarantee that she will not be forced to alter that time for their convenience. If not, than there is no reason to go ahead with the surgery as it will not result in a successful repair."

"Yes, you have made your concerns very clear. ALL of your concerns."

Artie dared to speak in the middle of the exchange between the two women. "If I can just say, this gathering for us is about our family. We want to be prepared for HG's recovery and how best to approach the challenges of the living space and to understand her limitations. We all know she is not exactly the most honest when it comes to her health."

"You do realize, I'm right here. I can actually hear you," Helena snapped.

Dr. Calder began before anyone else could add to the tension in the room. "Okay, ordinarily, this wouldn't be an interesting surgery, but we are not dealing with an ordinary patient. Due to the nature of the unpredictability of anesthetic drugs, the Regents have very strong concerns of post-surgical lucidity and prefer HG to stay for at least 24 hours under Regent observation."

"Wait a minute," Myka interrupted. "Does that mean I can't see her after she comes out?"

"That has yet to be determined," Mrs. Frederic answered.

The team all stood up at once. "Uh-uh."…"No way"…"You can't do that."

Mrs. Frederic held up her hand. "I appreciate everyone's support but in this case, yes they can. I'm sorry, Myka."

Dr. Calder interrupted the caretaker, glaring at the woman. "Myka, I have made my position very clear to the Regents on this matter. I will do everything I can to get you in there. Mrs. Frederic is correct. As it is, there will be not only myself, but two Regents stationed at all times from the time of administration of the first drug. I will be present as your advocate and making my medical recommendations based on her responses and Dr Brandon's assessments. I do not foresee any reason for you to not be allowed with her after recovery." She smiled at the younger woman, trying to reassure her importance in the procedure. Helena remained in her corner, detached from the conversation around her.

"It's up to HG where she wants to be. The stairs are a concern in the cottage, at least for the first few days. I understand the office can be made available for as long as needed if you want, HG, as well as some modification at the cottage on the lower level until you can negotiate the stairs." The woman was unresponsive. Realizing she was not the main audience now she talked to the others. "It's not much of a big deal really. The ankle will be immobilized and non-weight bearing for four weeks. Depending on how she feels, and I trust Steve can aid us in determining if she is being honest with us, she may be able to start some desk work at the warehouse but nothing else. I don't think I have to remind you all she is going to be a right pain in your ass. There will be a lot of re-evaluations in determining physical capabilities. Physical therapy is a big part of this. We want to make this a success."

Pete piped up. "Steve and I can get you up and down the stairs. I don't see you wanting to not sleep in your own bed. HG?"

"Hmm? Oh, fine. It's not a big deal, really. I'm sure I've suffered worse.. I'm not exactly sure why this meeting is so important to you all. I go in, get fixed, come home and recover. I can still hop on my other leg. Myka will be there the first few days or so, and everyone has a phone. So, after tomorrow the fun begins." Everyone stared at her deadpanned delivery. "Now we just all hope I can keep my bleeding mouth shut." She gave a weak smile. "If you are all satisfied, I have other matters to attend to." She got up and left.

Vanessa frowned at Myka. "Has she been like this the whole week?"

"To different degrees, but yes."

"Yeah, we haven't heard a peep from over there all week. Ouch!" Pete announced.

Myka punched him again for good measure. "You can be so insensitive sometimes, Pete.

"Look, Helena and I have our plans. We appreciate everyone wanting to be involved, but honestly, can you let us deal with this? If we need you, and we will I'm sure, we know we can count on you all, no questions asked. I've got to go." Myka walked out the door following her lost girlfriend home.

"I think that sums it up." Artie stood up. "Let's respect them and be on standby. Who is staying at the warehouse during the surgery?" No one answered.

"I will, Arthur," Mrs. Frederic spoke. "They need their family, and whether you like it or not, that includes you. It doesn't matter how minor a procedure may be, and truly this is not exactly minor, when it's family, it's the most daunting thing in the world."

* * *

"You all realize I don't need such an entourage. It's not like this is brain surgery," Helena complained as she and Myka were going through all the paperwork. Getting impatient she finally turned and snapped at the worst offenders. "Artie, Claudia, please go away and stop hovering about."

"Uh, right, right, we'll just go over there, right Claudia? Come on, give them some room." Reluctantly the two drifted over to the rest of the team.

Dr. Calder stepped behind them. "I understand, HG, but they're concerned. Artie really is a worry wart."

Myka turned to Helena. "I guess this is where I say 'see you later' then?"

"Oh, no. I told you Myka, I would do everything I could and that means you come in with me, very casually. I still have some privileges here. So, let's go." Vanessa took her slightly by the arm and escorted the two into a small room. "The nurse will be in shortly. She'll get you set up with an IV catheter and anything else they want before taking you on your big adventure. Here is a pretty gown for you. I know how much you like it. Here is the complimentary bag, no snack, for your belongings, including jewelry. So, get naked. Myka, you keep your hands off, and we'll get the show on the road." She knew she was doing little to ease their minds. "Helena, you're going to be fine. This is actually the easy part. The next twelve weeks is going to be the hard part. I've convinced them to let Myka stay through the initial sedation. Our secret."

Helena changed quickly before the nurse came in. She grasped her locket one more time before slipping it over her head and returning it for safe keeping around Myka's neck. "Well, here we go then." Myka held her hand as the sedative was administered and only let go when Helena's hand relaxed. Dr. Calder peeked in before they took Helena off for prep. putting an arm around the woman's shoulder. "I can't figure out why, but you two make me so unprofessional. Come on. I'll walk you out. You have a lot of pacing people to control, and they'll be waiting for me in the suite. I'll get you in as soon as I can." With one last squeeze, she led Myka out to their family.

* * *

Time had rarely passed so slowly for the team. All bets had been called off as to whom was pacing more, including the usually calm Steve. No one would have won. Only Myka sat frozen and unresponsive, staring at the doors.

Pete saw her first. She bolted out of her chair, Pete barely catching her arm. "Mykes! What's wrong? Everything is okay. No vibes, I promise."

"No, Pete, something isn't right." She shook her head, wide-eyed.

"No vibes, Myka. Everything is cool. Just sit down, or do you want to go for a walk?"

"No. I'm not leaving, but I don't care what your vibe says, something is not right." She returned to the chair continuing her watch.

Time inched by until Dr. Brandon, followed by Dr. Calder, came out to meet them. "Usually, I would only be speaking to you, Myka, but with your permission, Dr. Calder has advised me that I should speak to all of you. Is that correct?" Despite wanting the private moment, she looked around at her anxious family. They'd supported them both despite the odds they faced every day. She nodded her head. "Okay. The surgery went fairly well, and I have confidence that the grafts are going to take well. Now the hard part starts. She'll be in recovery awhile until you can see her, based on some discretionary criteria. I'll see you in a week for the first evaluation."

"What went wrong?" Myka asked.

"I'm sorry? Everything went well."

"He's lying," Steve said.

"She's in recovery doing well, what makes you think anything went wrong?"

"You said it went fairly well, what went wrong an hour ago?"

"I'm sorry, I really don't…"

"Lie," Steve reiterated.

"Nathan, just explain," Vanessa interrupted the soon to erupt tension.

"As I said, the surgery went well, however, there are often glitches that happen that are always addressed when they occur. In this instance, Ms. Wells had an unusual reaction to the anesthesia that caused some erratic responses. We were able to gain control and finish successfully. I don't believe she was in any true danger. She may very well just have a minor deviance in her ability to metabolize the drugs that don't show up on the pre-surgical blood work. It's nothing to worry about. Anything else?" He turned to confirm with them before leaving.

"Myka, she's just fine." Vanessa smiled at her. "I promise."

Pete looked at Myka sideways and muttered under his breath, "Freaky."

"Okay, children, let's get home. Nothing more we can do here and I expect updates. Right, Vanessa?"

"For you Artie, of course. I need to update Mrs. Frederic first." She rolled her eyes. "Her and the damned Regents," she muttered under her breath.

Pete stood back from the departing crowd. "I'll stay here with Mykes, at least until she can get in." They watched the team leave and sat back down. "So, Myka, still think you two don't have the freaky thing going on?"

"Maybe." She stared at the floor. "It's not like your vibe though. It's only with her, Pete. You didn't pick anything up."

"Don't know what to tell you Myka, but I've seen her do it, too. You two just got the freaks, and it keeps getting freakier."

"So how long until you think they'll let me in?" Myka worried.

"I don't know…want some coffee? I guess it all depends on if the Regents think you'll make her talk. I wish I understood what it's like for you two. At least you'd have someone who did. None of us can do that for you. I'm going for that coffee and see if I can wrangle you up some Twizzlers."

Pete came back to an empty chair and smiled. He handed the Twizzlers over to the nurse. "No, really, she needs them."

 


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Vanessa looked up from the paperwork on her desk, inconspicuously checking on the woman sitting on her sofa, trying aimlessly to occupy her mind with a book. "Myka, she's fine. It shouldn't be much longer. Last time I checked she was recovering well. The Regents are, unfortunately, being a bit overly protective of their assets. However, we both know what anesthetics can do."

"Assets." She softly laughed, bitterly. "Interesting choice of words," Myka mumbled.

"I think I know how you feel. They've taken over something that is, by all rights in a normal world, entirely yours. Unfortunately, we don't live in that normal world. As far as I know the only thing to have caused them any concern is her mumbling something about blue and red journals. A few artifacts."

Myka chuckled at that.

"Must be a good story in there somewhere."

Myka laughed. "You have no idea."

"I think I might just. Oh, and the first word out of her mouth was, 'Pete'".

Myka jerked her head up to see the older woman smiling. "I'm joking. You need another laugh. She asked for you right off, of course, when she was able. I promise. And, if they don't get you in there soon, she might get a little feistier than we want. So let me put a little pressure on them. I'll be right back."

"Dr. Calder? Vanessa?"

She stopped at the door. "Yes, Myka?"

"Thanks for bringing me to your office. Pete can get a little overbearing sometimes. I'm not sure who is more protective sometimes; her or him."

She nodded her head. "You know the answer to that and god help anyone that stands in her way. He loves you, too. I imagine it's quite the juggling act sometimes with those two. I thought you could use the space. I'm just doing paperwork and it's easier to track you down, too. I still get lost in this place."

The phone on the desk rang, just as she was opening the door.

Putting the phone down, she looked at Myka's anxious face and smiled. "Well, let's go. We've got the go. The Regents will probably hover, just to warn you. They don't seem to understand that this is really unnecessary. Once she knows you're there and you know she's fine, she's just going to sleep."

* * *

"Here we are. We even have a special room."

Myka slowly entered the room, getting her bearings in the dim light. The two Regents sat on opposite sides of the room, Helena in the middle, looking small in the bed. Myka let out a huge sigh of relief, not able to move towards the bed yet.

Eyes closed, a scratchy, dry voice came from the bed. "I can feel you staring." Helena turned her head with a small, tired smile.

Myka sat on the chair, kissing the small hand, grasping it firmly in her own and smiling back at the tired face. "I know you can."

"How do know?"

"I just do," she said starting to tear.

"Darling, I'm not going anywhere. If you could just loosen the hand a bit?" Myka eased up, not letting go. "Ah, much better."

"How do you feel?"

"What an absurd question. Miserable, of course." She gave Myka's hand a feeble squeeze. "I'm fine. In quite a bit of pain, but I've been given something for that and it's easing some. A bit fuzzy." Her voice started to fade. "Tired."

"Well, you look like hell." Myka laughed, stroking her head.

"You know that will put me to sleep…" she whined.

"I know. That's kinda the point. You need it. You're whining."

"Then I best get some beauty sleep. I wouldn't want Pete to stop calling me your stud muffin. One less threat to hold over him. I do have a reputation you know."

"I don't think it is one you necessarily want to advertise."

"You are probably right. You will be here when I wake up?" Helena had already closed her eyes.

"They couldn't drag me away without a fight." She started to stroke her cheeks as she drifted off.

"Hmm…I'll be sure to wake up for that. I bet you'd win…" She faded off to sleep.

"Go to sleep, sweetie." She kissed her forehead. "We've got a long twelve weeks ahead of us."

Dr. Calder poked her head in. "Everything okay, Myka?"

A relieved face turned to the doctor. "Yeah. When do we get to leave?"

"I'm working on that." Vanessa looked at both Regents in the room, handing Myka a bag. "Artie stopped by with some soup for you. He didn't think you would have eaten anything to eat all day."

"Now that you mention it." Myka opened the container inhaling the heavenly aromas coming from his special leek soup before diving into it.

* * *

Myka stood back laughing at the scene, curious as to who was going to win the battle; Steve, Pete, or Helena.

"Man, HG, what did they do, add weights to that cast?" Pete complained.

"I can manage quite well on my own, thank you. I do have crutches you know," she sputtered.

"No way. We aren't taking any chances," Pete was adamant.

"Exactly how is throwing me around like a sack of potatoes less traumatic?" she griped. At the last bounce she bit her lip in pain.

"Uh, Pete, maybe I should take it from here? I think we need the better man," Steve interrupted taking HG out of Pete's arms into his. "You can play doorman." Steve gave Pete a small smile of victory.

"Hey, that is so not fair. You look way better in the uniform. You should be the doorman."

"I seem to be the knight rescuing the damsel in distress. I like shiny things."

"Myka, would you get me away from these buffoons before they drop me! Do I need to tell you what happened to the last two gentlemen that fought for my affections? It involved pistols."

"Helena, just let them get you in the door. Then it's just me," Myka called from a safe distance.

"Oh, well in that case. Bedroom?" Steve asked Pete with a shrug, waiting for Myka's directions.

"As much as I want to say otherwise, yes." Myka gave up. "But you are going there to rest. Claudia is anxious to see you." Artie joined Myka watching the shenanigans.

"I always said you were all a bunch of lunatics. She had a good night then?"

"Yes. Couldn't wait to get out and most of the staff remained unharmed. I think it was more of a courtesy to Dr. Calder."

"That's always a good thing. You look like crap." Artie looked her up and down.

"Well, Artie, it's been a long couple of nights, and I don't think I actually slept last night. Sleeping in a chair will do that to a person. It was unnerving with the Regents there all the time. I can't say I'm not happy to see them gone."

In an unexpected display of affection he gave her a one-armed hug. He released her, pushing his glasses up his nose and clearing his throat. "I stocked your fridge so you should be set for some meals," he said shyly. "If you need anything, you know where we are, and I mean all of us. You'd better get in there before those two drop her down the stairs. I think I already hear some commotion."

Myka shook her head on her way in.

* * *

"No, the RIGHT side is my side. Not the left, the right. That is why the word 'correct' was invented so as not to confuse directional references."

"Okay, geez. Some things I really don't need to know about your sleeping habits. God knows we already know more than we all want."

Steve laughed at Pete's summation. "I don't think those qualify as sleeping, Pete."

Myka trotted up the stairs chuckling. At the look on Helena's face she turned to the boys. "Thanks guys, but I'd leave if I were you. Now."

"Yeah." They both gave her a hug before running as fast as they could.

Myka lay down on the bed expelling all the air in her lungs, happy to have everything settled for the moment. She rolled to her side facing her patient. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. I need some more pain meds, but happy to be home. Those two are funny together." She chuckled. "What a scene that must have been. Certainly not the most gracious and I very much need those pain pills after their jolting me around." She gently ran her palm across the side of Myka's face. "You look tired. You should sleep."

"Hmmm." Myka closed her eyes. "I will as soon as I get you settled." She opened her eyes, eager to see the brown eyes looking back. "I think you got more sleep than I did. Let's get those drugs into you. I'll be right back. Need anything else?"

"No, just you." Myka went to the bathroom for the meds and a glass of water, changing into a tank and boxer shorts at the same time.

Helena took the pills before Myka crawled in next to her. "I do hope they leave us alone for a while."

"Claudia's anxious to see you, but she'll text you first, and be honest if you are not up for her visit!" Myka snuggled up close to Helena's side, draping a protective arm over her, already half asleep. "I'm sorry, honey, I'm really tired. Wake me if you need anything."

Helena was wide awake after a brief nap, Myka still sound asleep next to her in the same place she fell asleep in. Claudia was on her way over. Nothing was going to wake Myka now.

Creeping up the stairs, she peeked over the half wall. "I can come back another time," she whispered.

"It's fine Claudia, she's in another world right now and as you can see I am quiet whole and at the moment awake."

"Yeah, well, you know how it is. Just worried. I brought your journals back. You didn't have to share them with me. They were, uh, a little…"

"Revealing?"

"Uh, yeah. We don't have to talk now. I don't think there's much to talk about."

"Why not? It's on your mind now, correct? If you'd rather some other time that's fine too, Claudia."

"Well, you know…" She gestured towards the sleeping body curled up into her.

"Ah. Sound asleep. Claudia, remember that the person in those journals is not necessarily the person I am now. I was stuck in an outwardly repressed society in which I did not belong. I was promiscuous, as you asked, but only for what I could gain for myself and very selective in my choices. I won't say that I do not enjoy my sexuality and as you have read, I have expressed that in many ways. However, I have a different outlook now. I have someone that I love very much in which to share myself with, and that makes all the difference in the world."

"After you were unbronzed did you…well…you know…"

"No, Claudia. No one. Myka has been the only one for me. I've always known that and no, I don't know how. I stopped trying to figure it out. She is the fundamental difference between that person in the journals and the one here. Perhaps I am too free with sexual innuendos and references from the past and the present. It's part of my rebellious nature I suppose. I've always gone at least one step too far. But, be assured I do not group Myka with the other associations in my past. She has and always will remain unique to me. One of the advantages of attaining a second life. The other…well, I try to leave it where it belongs- in the past."

"So everything you did in those journals…"

"Oh, yes. One does not have so many lovers without becoming rather skilled in the art, and I've always been of a curious nature, hence somewhat experimental. Things are much different now. This is not meant to embarrass you, darling. It is merely a fact. You would eventually have been made aware of my past from other sources. It is inevitable. I loaned you those journals because I wanted you to hear it from me, openly and honestly with my permission, not from another."

"And Myka knows?"

"Claudia, Myka knows me better than anyone. She has read all of my journals. Despite her reluctance, I refused not enter this relationship honestly without her having that knowledge. I will not chance losing her because of my past." Helena smiled at the young woman. "Too much knowledge to digest?"

Claudia nodded. "Maybe, but I understand what a big thing it was for you to share it. I'll never say anything."

"I know. That is why I allowed you to read them. It's a great deal of intimate knowledge to have of someone. And, yes, Myka knows you have read them as well. As uncomfortable as she may be, she also understands your need to understand and my reasons for sharing. It was time. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm glad your back. And I'm glad I know the now you." She wrapped her arms around Helena's neck in a surprise hug. "I'll see you later?"

"Of course. You know you'll be on babysitting duty. Digest. I'll always be honest with you."

"Okay."

After Claudia shut the door, Helena leaned towards Myka. "And just how much of that did you really hear?"

"I think you already know."

"Yes. From around the word 'revealing' I believe." She sunk down in the bed, flinching as she moved closer to Myka. "I will be so happy when I can hold you and not be in pain."

"Me too. Two more hours until the next dose." Myka wrapped Helena's arm around her as best possible falling back to sleep.

* * *

"Claudia!"

The redhead looked over the banister. "Yeah. What's up, Myka?"

"We've got a ping. Pete and I are off in like ten minutes. Artie needs you at the warehouse, and I need a big favor."

The redhead bounced down the stairs. "What ya need?"

"It's the first time away from Helena, so can you keep a close eye on her? She's been having a few more nightmares lately and you're the only one that's really gone through them with me, and I know you've been there when I was gone. She trusts you. It hasn't been any worse than normal, but I don't want her to bang that ankle either." Despite her words, she was a little concerned.

"Yeah, sure, Mykes. Want me to stay over there?"

"If she'll let you, but she's getting more stubborn as she makes progress. It's probably nothing, just the normal periodic wave and they'll pass." She threw her bag over her shoulder.

"Come on, Mykes, we gotta go!" Pete called impatiently.

"I got it, Myka. Don't worry," Claudia reassured her. "Been there before."

"Thanks. I'm coming Pete, don't get your pink panties in a twist!"

* * *

Claudia sat straight up at the sound coming through the open window. "Damn it!" She ran out the room, barefoot. "Steve…"

"Already there." He came bounding out of his room chasing her down the stairs.

Claudia caught sight of him as they started through the kitchen. "Are you sleeping fully clothed now?"

"Ouch… damned chair. I am now. What is this, night four? I thought you said you were staying over there tonight?"

"She wouldn't let me and she's pretty convincing with crutches in her hands." The back door slammed behind them. The screams still emanated from the building out back. "She promised not to lock the door, not like that's ever been a problem in the past." The door gave way immediately.

"HG?" They both took the stairs two at a time. "Damn it. Steve, you grab her. I can get the leg."

"HG? Come on, wake up…Helena!"

The screaming stopped, but the thrashing continued. "I've got her, Claud," Steve said calmly, wrapping his arms around her from behind, holding her arms to her sides.

Claudia grabbed her head forcing her to look at her. "Helena, come on, wake up! It's me, Claudia and the 21st century!" Everything stopped. Helena was staring straight through her still at some unknown evil, eyes fixed beyond any known point. Tears, now rivulets, draining into an unknown abyss. As reality came back, she burst into near hysterics falling forward onto Claudia's shoulder out of Steve's grasp.

"Where's Myka?" she choked out. Steve had gone to get a wet cloth to wash her face with, leaving Claudia rocking the woman in her arms.

"She's out with Pete, remember? They're somewhere in the Adirondacks searching for some lumberjack axe."

Steve came back with the cloth, handing it to Claudia. Sitting behind HG, he wrapped his arms around her and she fell back against him fatigued.

"Here, let me wash your face." Claudia gently held the cloth against the woman's burning face, washing the tears away. She looked at Steve. "Dude, they're getting worse. We need to get Myka back."

"I know. I already packed my bag. I'm going to go tell Artie to send me out so we can get her back. Did she say how bad the nightmares had been before she left?"

"All she said was that they seemed to be the normal periodic waves she goes through, but nothing worse than usual and keep an eye on her. This is way worse than usual and every night. I've dealt with really bad before, but nothing like this. Myka would never have left her like this or if she thought it was an issue. The worst part is she doesn't remember anything about them."

Steve took the cloth from Claudia, going to the linen closet and pulling out fresh sheets. "Same deal as last night?"

"Yeah. Hey, HG, how ya doing? Do you remember anything?"

"No. Nothing," she strangled out. "I'm sorry." She looked into their eyes, shaking her head.

"It's okay. No need to be sorry about something you can't control. Come on, we're really thankful for them, but you need new jam jams. Steve and I can take care of the sheets." Claudia rummaged through Myka's drawers, realizing by now Helena had almost nothing in that department for clothing and she'd be doing a load of laundry in the morning. "How's the ankle? Can you make it okay?"

"It's fine. I can manage," she muttered on her way to the bathroom, Claudia in tow with the clean clothes.

Claudia picked up her phone while Steve finished changing the sheets. "I'll be right back. Are you okay with her?"

"Yeah. You calling Myka?"

"Yeah, but this is way out of our league. We need to call Dr. Calder, too. I'll go fix her some warm milk. She seems to like it."

Claudia came back with the milk, spiked with her favorite cognac. "Here's some warm milk. I made it OUR way, not Myka's." Helena managed a vague smile. "I'll fix that. If you can teach me how to make your tea, I can teach her how to make a proper cup of warm milk. You okay for now?"

"Honestly, Claudia, Steve, I'm fine now. You can go back to bed."

"I don't think so. I'm staying right here."

"Claudia…"

"Not an option, HG. Steve can go. I'll just walk him to the door."

He opened the door waiting for Claudia to step out. "So, this is the plan. Myka wanted to talk to HG, but thought it best not to. Artie's got a flight for you first thing this morning and Myka's on her way to catch the first available now. Pete's going to continue what he can safely and hang out waiting for you. Dr. Calder will meet Myka here. I'll stay with HG until Myka gets here. Phew. I need to be a booking agent."

"You want me to stay in the office?" Steve asked concerned. "What if she has another one?"

"Usually doesn't work that way with her. It's done and over. She just needs the comfort factor now, even if she won't admit it. Trust me, Steve. I've been through this a lot, with and without Myka. She'll just be self-conscious if you stay. If something changes I got you on dial #1. Go get some sleep. You've got an early flight."

Upstairs HG was already half asleep. Claudia shook her head. "Come on, HG, move over. Myka's right, you are a horrible little bed hog." Claudia took the woman's hand.

"Myka?"

"No, HG, it's Claudia. Myka's on her way, though. I promise she'll be here as soon as we can get her here. Now go to sleep. I'll be right here."

 


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Myka burst through the front door of the B & B dropping her bag on the floor. "Claudia, are you here?"

"In the kitchen, Myka. Want some coffee? I just started a pot." She raised her head at the rush through the door. "Whoa. Slow down. She's okay and seeing you like this is not going to help. So sit down and have some coffee. Artie is giving her a cooking lesson at the cottage." Claudia held up her hands before Myka had a chance to interrupt. "Myka, I mean it. Slow down and sit. You are not supposed to know about the cooking lessons because she has some sort of surprise for you. Not that I like to give secrets away, but it is distracting her and the doc thought that would be a good idea, and we figured out a way for her to move about safely. So chill, right now."

"It took longer to get here. How was she last night?"

"The same, but Steve and I put her little fanny in place and both spent the night there so we could jump on it right away. Steve took a later flight. The ankle is fine. We made her have a recheck today. PT is continuing as scheduled. Dr. Calder is doing a little research and should be here tonight. Now, about that coffee." Claudia placed the steaming cup of dark liquid in front of her. "And it's decaf, because you don't need any more winding up."

Myka took a deep drink of the coffee, not thinking, coughing as it burned down her throat.

"Myka, it's hot."

"I noticed. So, no change? What happened exactly? When I left everything was pretty normal or I would have passed it on to Steve. I haven't been out since her surgery and was feeling guilty."

"We know that. They just got progressively worse after you left. She wouldn't let me stay so I kept my windows open. The first night I was okay when I got over there, but called Steve to help me get her changed and take care of the sheets and all. The second night, Steve came over with me and he had to restrain her. I couldn't do it on my own. It took a lot to talk her out of it. She only responds to Helena, by the way, not HG. Must be the connection to you. We couldn't convince her to let us sleep over there or her here, so we got a system. Steve would grab her from behind and hold her arms down while I grabbed the leg and talked her down. After that smooth sailing for the rest of the night. She was better the night I stayed, but it was still rough. She doesn't remember anything about the dreams, so nothing to talk about. That's why I wanted your permission to call Dr. Calder. Maybe it'll be different now that you're home."

"What time is Dr. Calder getting here?"

"Sometime before dinner, of course. Artie is dining with her." Myka laughed now.

"Of course. Like I needed to ask. Did Steve get there okay? I hated leaving Pete like that."

"Yeah. They think they got the lead and hope to snag soon. No worries. Pete's been bugging me for updates on your wi…girlfriend since you left."

Claudia's phone vibrated on the table. She laughed reading the text. "Artie's lesson is over and all cleaned up. They are on their way over. Artie didn't want any paths crossing."

* * *

"Artie, you make a terrible doorman. Honestly, this would be much easier on my own."

Myka and Claudia started laughing at the conversation coming from the back door.

"Like I'll take that chance. You're a pretty cranky, old broad sometimes."

"I'd be careful of whom you, of all people, is calling who old and cranky."

Myka sat back in her chair observing the two. "Someone might actually think the two of you like each other if you're not careful."

"Myka, he is completely incompetent. He can't even hold a door properly for a lady."

"Show me a lady and I'll show you how to hold a door."

Claudia snorted coffee out her nose. "Oh, gross." She grabbed a bunch of napkins. "It's not funny."

Myka grabbed a towel throwing it at her on her way to greet her girlfriend. "Yeah, it really is, Claud. Artie get your hands off my girlfriend or I'll tell Vanessa you really are just a dirty, old man. Don't you need to get ready for dinner?"

"Fine. I'm very under appreciated by all of you until I save your sorry butts out there. I'll be by to pick her up at six. Ingrates."

"Will do, gramps."

"Claudia…" he warned on his way out the door.

"She should be here soon if you guys want to go into the living room. You both look tired," Claudia offered.

"Yeah. Thanks for the coffee, Claud. Come on, Hopalong." Myka walked slowly beside Helena's quickly increasing skill with the crutches.

"Hopalong? What does that even mean?" Helena gave her a strange look that often happened with 21st century references.

"Ask Pete. Hopalong Cassidy. Fictional cowboy. Better yet, don't ask. It's not important."

Helena elevated her foot on the end before settling into Myka's side. "You are much more comfortable than Claudia. She still elbows ones ribs at night, even in a big bed."

"And you're becoming a bigger bed hog when left alone for a few days." Myka played with her fingers. Frowning when she found the right hand naked. "Helena, where is your ring?"

"Hmm? Oh, it needed some repair work. Claudia found an antique jeweler for me."

"It looked fine when you gave it to me for your surgery." She couldn't remember anything wrong with it. She was careful to keep the ring and locket together in the wooden box, but she'd been preoccupied and had returned the box the first night they were home.

"It was a minor issue I wanted fixed before it got worse." Helena pulled her hand away, reversing the process to play with Myka's instead. "Now, what did you do? You've got a big gash on your palm. Have Dr. Calder examine that when she's here."

"Fine. Tell me about the nightmares you are doing a good job of avoiding."

"I thought I was doing such a good job, too." She leaned back into Myka, tired from Artie's secret lesson. "There's not much to tell. Just the same thing, but much worse. I don't remember them being this bad since being unbronzed. I don't remember anything, just the emotions after."

"Well, that's part of my job done," Dr. Calder spoke from behind them, making Myka jump.

"Sorry, Myka, I didn't think I was that quiet, and nothing to even be guilty about this time." She smiled, sitting across from them. "So, Claudia has filled me in with what's been going on the past few days. Sounds like she and Steve have gotten the brunt of it so far. I've being doing some research and read through your surgery report and came up with some ideas, but I want a quick exam first. No panicking, HG, it's not as bad as the last one." She started her exam as she talked to Myka.

"What can you tell me about before you left? Anything unusual? Any known triggers? Any events you can think of?"

"No. Just the normal. Well, normal for us. You know what we go through, we talk about it enough. They go through waves, sometimes we can connect a trigger, sometimes not. We ride it out and life goes on. She's still visiting the therapist periodically or when they become worse than usual, but nothing like Claudia was describing. They started maybe a week after the surgery, but that in itself could have been a normal trigger so we never thought much about it. I asked Claudia to keep an eye open just as a precaution, but that kind of goes unsaid anyway."

The doctor sat back, finished with the exam. "What about you, Helena, anything you can think of?"

"No. I just don't remember anything. When I'm aware again I'm filled with dread, panic, fear. Everything you can think of that is horrifying all at once. Unfocused. Then it's over and I sleep through the rest of the night. I'm sorry, that's all I remember."

"I have a theory, but it isn't going to necessarily solve the issue right away. I don't want to drug you up, but I'm going to give you a medication to help treat nightmares and recommend you see the therapist. I'll send over a report tomorrow. Rarely, some patients can have nightmares after surgery. The good news is they go away. Part of my theory has to do with your specific abnormalities, shall we say. You are unique, HG. You did experience some unusual adverse reactions to the anesthetics, and we discussed this before you left the hospital. Not only your metabolism may have experienced some changes from the bronzing process, which could have been partially responsible for the anomalies during surgery, but you're also predisposed to nightmares for many reasons and have numerous triggers, some of which we don't know and probably never will. Your brain is hard wired, you could say, in how it interprets and reacts to situations. You both have accepted as normal for you two what is not necessarily normal. You just get through the bad nights and move on. I really admire you both for your attitude and I know it's not easy. Because of your already periodic condition, the anesthesia may have just boosted it a little. Does that make sense?"

Myka frowned at Helena before answering. "Oddly enough, it really does. There is no such thing as normal in this job, why should we be any different?"

Helena sighed. "This is getting very bothersome; all because of an ankle. Now, what do we do?"

"What you always do, ride it out and keep me posted. Hopefully the medication will help, and Myka is home now and that usually makes a difference I think. You'll be more relaxed, too. That is another thing you're familiar with. Try to relax at night. Honestly, when it comes to nightmares, you two pretty much know all the techniques. I should do a case study on you. I expect it'll run its course and they are just really, really bad right now. If things don't change, call me. Make that appointment, both of you, with the therapist. You've had a lot of personal stress lately and we'll take it from there. I'll draw some blood tomorrow and run some labs, but I don't expect anything." She gave them a sympathetic smile. "I mean it when I say you two do a great job in dealing with the nightmares. If only all my patients accepted it so completely, but then, as you pointed out, you're not really my normal patients. Go eat dinner with Claudia. Sounds like you could all use a good family night. Oh, and Steve and Pete are on their way home, too. If you have no other concerns it seems I've been spoken for. I'll check in on you tomorrow." Smiling, she got up to greet Artie on the way out the door.

Claudia walked in with two pizzas. "Okay, I'm not cooking tonight 'cause I don't feel like eggs or cereal, and I say we have a girlie night. Well, as girlie as any of us get."

* * *

Helena turned off the last light next to the bed, laughing. "I can't believe Claudia talked us into watching  _Tomb Raider_. She has an evil side to her beneath that childish exterior of hers I forget about. I'm not sure who laughed more, you or her. It's really not that funny, you know." She rolled into Myka's arms. "So what shall we do to relax?"

"I thought we were relaxing? Did you take your medication?"

"Yes. Now about this relaxation thing. I had some ideas." Helena's hand started creeping under Myka's shirt.

Myka grabbed her hand. "I don't think that's exactly what the doctor was talking about. Besides, your ankle is in a cast."

With unexpected speed, Helena was on top of Myka holding her down. Staring down into the surprised face, she addressed her seriously, "Now, Myka, that is not what the doctor said and as I recall we were given the go ahead as long as it was progressively healing, and it was just checked, and pain was not an issue. I assure you pain is very tolerable. I am not going to wait to make love to you until this blasted cast is off. That is just not acceptable. I can be very creative and have no difficulty in accommodating most anything, especially a cast on my leg. Do I need to pull out some journals? I am very determined, so I recommend that you merely give up and finally let me have my way with you. It's been too long. Explain to me why, after all this time, you still feel you must wear clothes to bed when we are alone? Unless you prefer the process of my undressing you, and I don't argue that I find that just as alluring, in general I enjoy sleeping naked next to your equally naked body."

Myka pulled her arms free to bring the inviting lips down to her own. "I give up. I'll keep that sleeping naked thing in mind, but I kind of like the undressing part, too."

* * *

They passed the night with the expected nightmare. Helena admitted the severity did seem decreased and insisted it was from their newly devised relaxation technique, but was happier being held in Myka's arms again for the remainder of the evening.

Myka woke up to the smell of coffee and what smelled like breakfast. She sat up straight, jumping out of bed instantly realizing Helena was not beside her.

"Helena!"

"Downstairs, dear," a cheery voice responded from downstairs.

Without thought Myka ran down the stairs, jumping the last three, and into the kitchen.

Helena calmly looked her up and down appreciatively, eyes narrowing. "Darling, as much as I enjoy gazing upon your naked body, you may want to consider putting some clothes on before we sit down to breakfast."

She shook her head, staring at the set table. "Huh? You're making breakfast?"

"Not making, made. Now go get dressed. Your coffee is waiting for you."

Myka blindly retreated upstairs to search for her clothes from the night before, returning to a meal of scrambled eggs and waffles.

"Sit here." Helena indicated a chair.

"You made all of this?" she asked sitting in a daze.

"Yes, I did. Artie is teaching me how to cook. One of us needs to learn how to feed ourselves. The coffee came from the house, so have no fear for your blessed machine."

Myka reached for her coffee hoping for a jolt of caffeine to clear her head when she noticed the velvet box next to the handle of the mug. "Helena? What's this?"

"You'll just have to open it to find out."

Cautiously, Myka opened the box. "Helena, this is your ring. I thought you said..."

"I did. I was having it resized. I want you to have it. It's really all I've kept besides my locket. I meant it when I said I'd like to exchange rings. More accurately, I want you to have this ring. I don't need one from you. I've already got you."

"But Helena...I don't know what to say."

"Myka, I love you. There is nothing for you to say. All you need to do is put it on your finger, you dolt."

"Well, that was certainly romantic, Wells."

"Darling, this is who we are." She took the ring out of Myka's reluctant hands placing it on her finger and kissing it lightly. "I do love you. And, I made you breakfast. Quite an accomplishment for me." Helena beamed over her success.

"I couldn't ask for more. I love you, Helena Wells. Thank you. So…feel like relaxing some more later?"

"Oh, most definitely. I may need to make you more eggs, though. I think you'll need them."

 


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

"So did you get it yet?" Pete asked climbing the ladder.

 "Did I get what, yet? Hand me a glove will you?"

"Oh, come on, Myka. The ring!"

She smiled like a teenager on her first date. "What's it to you, Lattimer?"

"What's it to me? I was there with you in the antique store. That's what it is." He shook his finger at her. "Ah, ah, ah…you did!" Still pointing his finger at her he jumped down the ladder, sitting on the lower tread. "I knew it. Which one did you get?"

"You'll laugh."

"No, Mykes I won't laugh, unless it was a Mickey Mouse ring or something, but maybe she has a thing for Mickey Mouse."

"I got the diamond."

"Wow! Mykes, that's big."

"Not for the reason you think." She jumped in quickly. "It's the birthstone for April."

"Huh?"

"That's the day we met in London, Pete. April, 23. Kind of the birth of us, in a really twisted, ass backwards, sort of way."

"Really? It was April?"

"Pete!"

"No, no. I think that's really cool." He had his big, goofy grin plastered on his face. "Do you have it yet? It needed to be resized, right? And she has totally no clue, right?"

"I picked it up yesterday. I don't think she knows. She didn't ask for one when she gave me hers, but still, I've want to for a while. I just never took the initiative since she first mentioned it. So much has happened since then."

"She knows. She just doesn't need the ring. That's great, Myka." He got up and hugged her. "I'm really happy for you. I know how you feel about the wedding thing, but like you said, you might change your mind. I don't know, maybe this is somehow more special for you guys. When are you going to give it to her?" He was nearly bouncing on his feet.

"I don't know…"

"Hey, let's get this done so we can figure it out. I can't wait to see it. Hand me that tire. A tire…never stops being weird here."

They'd been down in the deeper parts of the warehouse when Myka stopped short.

"Hey, Mykes, come on. We need to finish this up. We're almost done."

"Pete, I've got to go. Don't ask. I don't know. I just need to go home." Myka turned and trotted down the aisle without another word.

* * *

Myka walked into the dim house to find Helena on the sofa listening to the stereo. Not really needing to, she picked up the CD. "Okay. Bruckner Symphony 9. Hmm…3rd movement…what's up?"

"I'm being sent out tomorrow," Helena said flatly.

Myka swallowed her dread and sat on the sofa, reaching out to caress the blank face. "Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. At least you've gotten some good snags here and the ankle is holding up well."

"I'm never going to be free am I?" A tear finally broke.

"Honey, I think it's a matter of mind set. Don't allow them to make you feel powerless against them. They don't own you. You just think they do." She wiped the tears from her eyes as they fell down the sides of her face.

"You really don't understand, Myka and I can't explain it to you. How many times can I tell you I have no say in any of this and I never have? I never will. I don't want to go." She sat up clutching Myka to her. "When are we going to have that child we keep avoiding? I don't want to avoid it anymore."

Myka took a deep breath reaching inward for all of her strength. "Come on, Champ. Let's go upstairs. We can talk up there or not. Are you packed?"

"No."

"Well, let's start with that."

Helena pulled out her small bag placing things in the bag as Myka handed them to her. As always, the UCCS sweatshirt went in last. When she wasn't looking, Myka snuck in her old, well worn copy of  _The Little Prince_. Helena threw the bag to the top of the stairs to wait for her early departure before turning around to sit on the bed.

"How did you get out without Artie stopping you?"

Myka was leaning against the small balcony wall by the stairs, arms crossed.

"I didn't ask. I just left Pete in an aisle somewhere. When did you get the call?"

"Long enough to get to the 3rd movement."

Myka sat on the bed next to her in silence. Leaning her head on Myka's shoulder, Helena reached her hand across to caress the face that leaned back against her head.

"It's not like we haven't done this before," she reminded the younger woman. "Although, I like it better coming home to Mahler's second symphony. We've just been spoiled having all this time together. I'd think you'd be tired of me by now."

"Never."

Myka backed up the bed pulling Helena with her, settling her between her knees. She opened the drawer of the night stand, grabbing a box. "This wasn't how I wanted to do this, but then I didn't exactly have any plan yet. I want you to have it now, before you leave." She reached around placing the box in Helena's hands.

Helena turned and looked at her questioning, but knowing. She slowly opened the box. Myka reached around again taking out the ring, placing it on the slender finger of the hand she held. "Don't make too much out of the stone. It's the why. The day we met. April 23. It's the birthstone. The birth of us."

Helena turned around looking in the soft eyes. Gently, she kissed Myka. "Thank you. This means more than anything." She leaned back against Myka wrapping the long arms around her. "I wish we had more time. I always want more time. Even just to sit against you. You have completely corrupted me. You've made me soft, Myka Bering, and I love that."

Myka hugged her back. Pulling the long, dark hair aside, she nibbled at the back of her neck, softening each increasingly harder nip with a soft kiss, and nuzzling her nose into her hair, memorizing the scent.

Helena forced a rough breath out bending her head forward. "Why do you do this to me?"

Myka licked the edge of the exposed ear whispering, "Because, I really, really like doing it and you really, really like it when I do. You didn't think you were just going to walk out of here tomorrow, did you?"

Helena rolled around in Myka's arms pushing herself on her knees. She took Myka's face in her hands gazing into the darkening, green eyes, smiling. "I certainly hope not." Kissing her softly, delicate, strong hands made quick work of Myka's clothing before discarding her own. "Myka, I'm in no hurry. I want to memorize every inch of you; every sensation, every flavor, and every scent. I want to appreciate every freckle, scar, and bruise on your skin. I'm on a quest tonight. Will you take that journey with me?"

Myka wrapped herself around the woman. "I'll join you on any journey you ask me to take."

* * *

Helena was awake and dressed before dawn. She didn't want to wake Myka, but also knew she was feigning sleep for her benefit. Ordinarily, she'd be accused of staring. She missed those few words this morning. She placed the locket over Myka's neck as best she could. Leaning over, she kissed her forehead gently. "Keep it safe. I'll be home soon." With one last look she picked up the bag by the stairs, quietly latching the door behind her.

Myka rolled onto her back grasping the locket as her tears fell randomly to stare at the ceiling until the light of dawn cast its glow in the bedroom.

* * *

Artie stood up quickly from the table, croissant in hand. "Mrs. Frederic. What are you doing here?" Looking at his hand he dropped the croissant on the plate.

"Since when do I need a reason, Arthur?"

Pete stammered as usual, "Ah, since that's the only time you ever sneak up, I mean show up here?"

"Actually, I'm here to see Agent Bering."

Claudia dropped her coffee, the cup shattering on the floor, breaking the silence. Ignoring the mess, she stared at the woman, whispering, "HG?" Steve placed a hand on her arm.

"Agent Bering, please, in the office."

Myka had walked in as Claudia dropped her coffee.

"Agent Bering, what?" she asked the stolid woman.

"Perhaps we should go to the office."

"No. What's wrong? Where is she?" Myka demanded. "Something's been off."

Looking around at the faces staring at her, Helena's family she realized, she acquiesced.

"Agent Wells did not make her last two appointed check points and has been declared missing in action. I'm sorry, Myka; everyone. We don't know what happened. All attempts to find her have come up empty. Due to the nature of this particular assignment it is very likely…likely that she is dead."

"I knew something was off. It's been off for over two weeks." Anger immediately overwhelmed her. "Wait a minute, all this time, for all these special little jobs, the Regents had set check points and no one thought to include me in on that? She's been gone for six weeks!"

"It was not only for her safety, but yours as well. You of all people should understand that. ALL of you. Myka, I am truly sorry. If there is anything I can do..."

"Anything you can do?" she yelled at the woman. "Tell the Regents to go to hell. They do not OWN her!" She enunciated every word in the woman's face. Myka's voice dropped, menacingly cold. "Not anymore. She's missing and they need to find her. They owe her that. She is out there. She is not dead." Without another sound, Myka walked out, the door slamming behind her.

* * *

He knew he'd find her here. She always came here to the maple in the center of the garden. They always came here. Even after the cottage was built they still came here. Always. He knew he'd never understand, but that didn't matter.

Pete came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder, for the first time in years not knowing what to do or say.

She stared at the ring on her finger. "She's out there, Pete. I know it. I can feel her. I'm going to find her."

"The freak thing?" Pete asked quietly.

She'd stopped crying now, a quiet anger replacing the tears, now clutching the locket as she'd seen Helena do so many times before. "Yeah, the freak thing. Regents be damned. The Regents no longer rule over me and they do not own her. Caturanga taught her, 'If the rules don't agree with one, it's sometimes necessary to change them'. That's what I'm doing, Pete. That's how she saved my life and that's how I'm going to save hers. I'm changing the rules."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anton Bruckner died in 1896 leaving his ninth symphony incomplete with only three movements, and manuscripts for the fourth. It is said that Bruckner referred to the third movement as his "Farewell to Life". Coming from one who has personally performed this work more than once, in a key position to the work, one certainly does get the sense he knew he was dying. Listen to it and decide for yourself. It is well worth the time.


End file.
